Each of us, men and women, has both masculine and feminine qualities. Femininity and masculinity do not identify gender. Some people are more masculine (typically biologically male in my experience). Some are more feminine (typically biologically women). And some of us are in the middle. I would say that most of us (I guess 85% of all men and women) are either more masculine or more feminine. And here's the beauty of relationships: it seems we tend to attract our sexual opposite (our masculine or feminine opposite). And this attractive force is just like a magnet, flowing between the two opposite poles. It's the juice in a healthy, active, positive relationship.
Many men have strong stereotypical feminine qualities: we can wear jewelry; we have long wavy hair; we write poetry; we sing and dance; we express love; we cry; we nurture. Many women have stereotypical masculine qualities: women can be aggressive; women fight in the military; women play sports; women are powerful CEOs and political leaders. This to me seems true.
However, if someone wants real passion in their relationship, I think there seems to be requirement for a strong "masculine" and a strong "feminine" presence, a ravisher and a ravishee, and aggressor and aggressee, outgoing and a quiet nature, a giver and a receiver. Opposites. I'm not talking just about sex. I'm talking about life and living with someone in all of its ways.
The adage of opposites attract seems true to me. An opposing attractive force in modern relationships often dies, because people think that relationships are built upon an equal 50/50, politically correct type of sameness. And that does not seems to be accurate. Sameness doesn't seem to work well in my experience. Sameness is a uniform monotonous life without variety. Neutrality, equal respect and fair treatment is expected in the workplace, but in a relationship, it seems that a vibrant, healthy, long-standing relationship needs the sexual attractive force between masculine and feminine opposites. Otherwise, the juice dries up.
THE THRILL IS GONE
We have made great progress in economic, political, and social equality between men and women, but it has resulted in a lot of sexually-neutral relationships. The love is there, but the sexual polarity is faded. Not just in moments of sexual intimacy, but the entire relationship seems dry. I've met with many married couples (opposite sex and same sex), and I see that the passion for each other and with each other is gone. The Thrill Is Gone
Good, strong, healthy attraction is based upon sexual opposites. In your relationship with your woman, your lover, you want to keep this dynamic alive and abundant. If you want real passion, you need opposites - energetic polarity, an attractive difference between the masculine and feminine. Without that, we just have two friendly people touching each other here and there.
If you enjoyed reading that, you may want to check out "What Does It Take to Be a King?"
The King's Guide is intended to be a guide for men. Specifically, men who are unafraid to be masculine. A masculine man is purposeful, confident and driven. And this man is also totally turned on by the feminine. He loves his woman. Dedicated to her - through his work and his sexuality.
The King's Guide is written for men who have achieved an understanding of other genders and sexual preferences, who consider men and women to be social, economic, and political equals, but they want to live a fulfilled life that celebrates sexual and spiritual passions inherent in the masculine and feminine polarities.
In a healthy relationship, I believe you have to have a masculine and a feminine. As they say, opposites attract. This seems to be true in homosexual relationships as well as heterosexual ones. Sexual polarity (masculine vs. feminine) is not dependent upon gender. But you still need two different, opposing polarities of personal characteristics in a good, healthy relationship. And I'm familiar enough with the heterosexual male masculine role to write about it, at least in my own personal experiences.
A man's most important role is to be the king - the one who guides, protects and provides for his wife and family. This is a masculine role.
It has been written that a man is the head of the family. In the beginning, the roles of Adam and Eve were defined by the instructions given to them. Eve was to desire her husband, and that he was to rule over her. Apostle Paul wrote that the husband is the head of the wife, just as Jesus Christ is the head over the church. And just as believers follow Christ, so the wife shall follow her husband in everything.
But what do these things that were written 2,000 years ago mean in today's reality?
What might we learn from the biblical roles that have been written? What, if anything, can we learn that which has been written in the past about sexually masculine and feminine roles? How might those things be applied to our present-day lives? For many households such as single-parent families, these roles of being husband and wife are not realized. And because I am not familiar enough with gay and lesbian partnerships and marriages, I will not be commenting much upon how roles play in those situations. However, it is commonly understood that in many loving relationships (straight, traditional, gay, non-traditional, lesbian, etc.) there is one person who has a more masculine characteristic and one that is more feminine. And the opposing, yet sexually attractive, types of personalities can make that relationship very exciting and enduring.
To be a guide, protector and provider, takes work. Hard work. In Genesis, it is written that a man will eat only after working up a sweat on his face. He's got to work in order to eat. Whew! And, this command was divinely given to the man specifically. The commandment to the woman was to be the man's helper. Eve was told to help Adam work hard.
Some say that the complications of our modern times require men and women to change what has been written before. Yet, for many men and women today, God's instructions to Adam and Eve are as valid today as when first given. It just works for them. Others discount these commandments, prefer to alter God's intention and plans, and create a suitable substitute that works for them. Personally, I have yet to find and study an alternative that works better for me and my wife than the one that is built upon loving obedience to each other by proper arrangement and deliberate decision.
Unconditional love is the key, sweeping over both of you in fathomless billows. Masculine and feminine energies add the spice of life to a healthy, passionate relationship.
You may be interested in reading "You Need Opposites" from The King's Guide.
I think about 85% of people, men and women, heterosexual or homosexual have either a nature (physically, mentally, sexually) that is more masculine than feminine or more feminine than masculine. Most people have a certain essence in their being.
Do you like to watch football and boxing? Or do you prefer love stories and dramas? Can you kill a spider? Or do you prefer to ask someone else to do it for you? Or maybe you enjoy doing both.
Would you rather have your sexual partner stronger than you? Or would you rather be the one who lovingly ravishes? Do you want to be swept off your feet? Or do you want to be the knight in shining armor? Or maybe you're turned on by both.
For most people, they would prefer to be either the initiator in a healthy sexual relationship or the receiver, the ravisher or the ravishee. Sexual polarity is important in their relationship. About 15% are neutral and have a balanced nature about themselves and sexual polarity is not that important to their loving relationship.
Either way, if you want a good, healthy relationship (physically, mentally, and spiritually), you ought to know your sexual nature. Are you more masculine, more feminine, or are you neutral? Figure that out. It shouldn't be too difficult. And then live true to your nature.
To thine own self be true.
If you have a masculine nature, a manly sexual essence, then you're likely driven by a mission in life. You feel you're living to the fullest and sense a deep purpose for living. Deep down, you're happy when you're focused and directed toward your goal and mission in life. And if you don't have direction in life, you've lost your job for example, then you feel empty and uncomfortable.
If you have a more feminine nature, a womanly sexual essence, then you're likely successful in life because you're core is filled and flowing with love, love from your partner and love from your family. You're intimate relationships are at your core in life and you're moved to improve those relationships and bonds of love and intimacy. And if you don't have a loving relationship with a partner or with your core friends, then you feel empty and uncomfortable.
The masculine tends to be driven by a mission, and the feminine tends to be motivated by the creation of love. Which one are you?
Text KINGME to 22828 for tips.