You're Not Perfect

Hey, man. You're not perfect. You make mistakes. And everyone around you knows it. Particularly your lover. But don't be too hard on yourself. Big deal: you said something stupid, you left the toilet seat up, you spent too much money, you could put on a clean shirt more often, you don't complete projects you start, you forgot something important again, etc. You have some flaws and some minor shortcomings. We understand. 

Your lover can deal with your imperfections in a few ways.

She can overlook the occasional slip-up. Why bring something up and make something big out of something small, like forgetting to use the coaster on the coffee table? 

She can mention them in a loving manner, such as, "Last night, I almost had to call 911, because I sat on the toilet and almost got stuck because the seat was up. Ha! Oh, man. I love it so much that you put the seat down for me. I'd hate for the fire department to come and rescue me." 

She can spin the negative into a positive. Turn lemons into lemonade. If you can't quite finish the yard work, she'll find a neighborhood teenager to help for a few bucks. You forget to do the dishes, she'll play music and dance with ya while you both empty the dishwasher. Your dirty shirt doesn't fit as well as it used to, so she'll surprise you with a quick coffee-and-shirt-shopping date. 

She can like them as being part of who you are. As I grow more mature in my marriage, I tend to enjoy and cherish those little things my wife does that may or may not have not been so enjoyable in the far past. I like how loud she sneezes, how emotionally charged she can get over something important or not so important, I like how she keeps expanding her clothes closet, and I like how she needs not one but two napkins. It's funny how little things that once may have been a little annoying are now endearing and can be cherished. 

When someone makes a mistake, when they fall short, when they do something a bit irritating, you have a choice. You can choose to argue over it and make it a big deal, or you can choose to handle it in another way that is founded on peace, understand, and love. When we realize that none of us is perfect, we can both forgive others and ourselves.

And then remember that you're the luckiest (most blessed) man on Earth because your lover is a part of you. You may be interested in how two become one in "Fulfilling a Masculine Role." 
​