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Each of us, men and women, has both masculine and feminine qualities. Femininity and masculinity do not identify gender. Some people are more masculine (typically biologically male in my experience). Some are more feminine (typically biologically women). And some of us are in the middle. I would say that most of us (I guess 85% of all men and women) are either more masculine or more feminine. And here's the beauty of relationships: it seems we tend to attract our sexual opposite (our masculine or feminine opposite). And this attractive force is just like a magnet, flowing between the two opposite poles. It's the juice in a healthy, active, positive relationship.
Many men have strong stereotypical feminine qualities: we can wear jewelry; we have long wavy hair; we write poetry; we sing and dance; we express love; we cry; we nurture. Many women have stereotypical masculine qualities: women can be aggressive; women fight in the military; women play sports; women are powerful CEOs and political leaders. This to me seems true. However, if someone wants real passion in their relationship, I think there seems to be requirement for a strong "masculine" and a strong "feminine" presence, a ravisher and a ravishee, and aggressor and aggressee, outgoing and a quiet nature, a giver and a receiver. Opposites. I'm not talking just about sex. I'm talking about life and living with someone in all of its ways. SAMENESS The adage of opposites attract seems true to me. An opposing attractive force in modern relationships often dies, because people think that relationships are built upon an equal 50/50, politically correct type of sameness. And that does not seems to be accurate. Sameness doesn't seem to work well in my experience. Sameness is a uniform monotonous life without variety. Neutrality, equal respect and fair treatment is expected in the workplace, but in a relationship, it seems that a vibrant, healthy, long-standing relationship needs the sexual attractive force between masculine and feminine opposites. Otherwise, the juice dries up. THE THRILL IS GONE We have made great progress in economic, political, and social equality between men and women, but it has resulted in a lot of sexually-neutral relationships. The love is there, but the sexual polarity is faded. Not just in moments of sexual intimacy, but the entire relationship seems dry. I've met with many married couples (opposite sex and same sex), and I see that the passion for each other and with each other is gone. The Thrill Is Gone SUMMARY Good, strong, healthy attraction is based upon sexual opposites. In your relationship with your woman, your lover, you want to keep this dynamic alive and abundant. If you want real passion, you need opposites - energetic polarity, an attractive difference between the masculine and feminine. Without that, we just have two friendly people touching each other here and there. If you enjoyed reading that, you may want to check out "What Does It Take to Be a King?"  If you have a masculine nature, you likely have a sense of "mission" in life - a strong conviction, a drive to do something big, achieve goals, accomplish, and conquer. Now, of course, you enjoy your wife and kids, being a great husband and father. But deep down, there's something about working on your mission in life - what you feel you were called to do. If you have not yet found or defined your mission, you might feel like there's something missing in your life, even if you're family life is full of joy.
The feminine has at their core a strong sense of love. They may have an incredibly successful professional career, but deep down, there's something missing. At the core of the feminine is an essential need to have love flowing and abundant. If love is not found, one might feel like there's something missing in life. Mission is masculine. Love is feminine. You need both. Masculine men love watching football or boxing, rather than watching chick flicks and reading romance novels. If a guy can't actually participate in the physical pursuit of a goal, then watching it will help fulfill that need. Sports is all about achieving a goal - having a mission, knowing fully what it is, and using every ounce of strength and focus to achieve that goal. Football in particular embodies the masculine core of mission by taking your ball down the field and crossing the goal line. On your way to the goal, you fight for every inch, risking physical and mental injury, you work with others like-minded on your team, you compete against your opponent, you break free of tackles, you run as fast as you can, until you can't run any more, you've run out of time, or you make it to the end zone and score. Ah... what ecstasy. For the masculine: competition, fighting, aggression, mission, facing death, are all forms of pleasure (rapture, ecstasy). Men enjoy the mission in life. Ask a man, "How's it going?" And he'll likely reflect on his work. If his work is going really well, his sex life is great (he's getting some), he's enjoying is activities, and life is good. If his work isn't going very well, then usually he'll say that his sex life is crap, his woman seems different, he can't concentrate, and his life seems a bit empty and overwhelming. We all have both masculine and feminine characteristics. For the feminine, love is at the core of life. For the more masculine male, his sexual nature is evidenced in his entertainment, his work, and his sense of mission just as much as in his intimate relationship with his woman. So, to the woman reading this, if your man is watching sports on TV - Let him. It's good for him. |
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December 2021
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