Each of us, men and women, has both masculine and feminine qualities. Femininity and masculinity do not identify gender. Some people are more masculine (typically biologically male in my experience). Some are more feminine (typically biologically women). And some of us are in the middle. I would say that most of us (I guess 85% of all men and women) are either more masculine or more feminine. And here's the beauty of relationships: it seems we tend to attract our sexual opposite (our masculine or feminine opposite). And this attractive force is just like a magnet, flowing between the two opposite poles. It's the juice in a healthy, active, positive relationship.
Many men have strong stereotypical feminine qualities: we can wear jewelry; we have long wavy hair; we write poetry; we sing and dance; we express love; we cry; we nurture. Many women have stereotypical masculine qualities: women can be aggressive; women fight in the military; women play sports; women are powerful CEOs and political leaders. This to me seems true.
However, if someone wants real passion in their relationship, I think there seems to be requirement for a strong "masculine" and a strong "feminine" presence, a ravisher and a ravishee, and aggressor and aggressee, outgoing and a quiet nature, a giver and a receiver. Opposites. I'm not talking just about sex. I'm talking about life and living with someone in all of its ways.
The adage of opposites attract seems true to me. An opposing attractive force in modern relationships often dies, because people think that relationships are built upon an equal 50/50, politically correct type of sameness. And that does not seems to be accurate. Sameness doesn't seem to work well in my experience. Sameness is a uniform monotonous life without variety. Neutrality, equal respect and fair treatment is expected in the workplace, but in a relationship, it seems that a vibrant, healthy, long-standing relationship needs the sexual attractive force between masculine and feminine opposites. Otherwise, the juice dries up.
THE THRILL IS GONE
We have made great progress in economic, political, and social equality between men and women, but it has resulted in a lot of sexually-neutral relationships. The love is there, but the sexual polarity is faded. Not just in moments of sexual intimacy, but the entire relationship seems dry. I've met with many married couples (opposite sex and same sex), and I see that the passion for each other and with each other is gone. The Thrill Is Gone
Good, strong, healthy attraction is based upon sexual opposites. In your relationship with your woman, your lover, you want to keep this dynamic alive and abundant. If you want real passion, you need opposites - energetic polarity, an attractive difference between the masculine and feminine. Without that, we just have two friendly people touching each other here and there.
If you enjoyed reading that, you may want to check out "What Does It Take to Be a King?"
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