A superior man opens his chest, relaxes his stomach, and breathes it in. Absorbs it. This is the reaction of a skillful person when faced with fear, anxiety, or pain.
Imagine making a major mistake at work, getting caught lying to your woman, overhearing a college or friend speak terribly of you. How would you react? Most men get very tense. They quickly turn away, close up, or pretend for a moment that it never happened, or is not happening. This provides a few moments, maybe only seconds to stop, confirm, and evaluate the situation.
But men should not close down or turn away from hurt. A man should react to fear, pain, or hurt with skill and learn how to open up, and live through it, and react with freedom and action. In the martial arts of combat, fear resides in everything, and the heart of fear is in the unexpected.
It is written that you have not been given the spirit of fear, but rather the spirt of power and love, and a sound mind. Fear, hurt, and pain is something that is from without, not within. And you ought to learn how to live with freedom from those things.
So, the next time you are at the beginning moment of reacting to someone who has hurt you, stop. And relax. If you're going to be contracted and tight, you'll be unable to react. Take a moment of control. Stand strong on both feet. Relax your shoulders, drop them. Open your chest. Expand and release your stomach muscles. And breathe. And look directly into the eyes of whomever you're with. And engage them.
What you actually do after that is all about living with freedom. And my hope is for these writings to guide you.
Tips for Men to Be Better Men, Wonderful Husbands, and Loving Fathers