There's a story about a boating trip where a woman and her daughter go out and have some fun. The boat anchors in a shallow area, so that everyone can jump into the water an swim around with the fish and stingrays. The wind picks up suddenly, and the captain starts calling everyone in. The woman finds the floatation and rope line and starts back to the boat. The daughter is right behind her. The woman gets up on the boat and turns around to assist her daughter, but she's not there. She lost her grip on the life line rope and is drifting away, with the waves and the current now getting stronger. The woman on the boat panics and jumps in to help her daughter. But she now realizes that she's in just as much trouble as her daughter and is of no help. Now, they're both in need of the captains help. They both need to be rescued. In the end, everyone came out fine and safe. But, the moral to the story is, don't sacrifice yourself to help someone, because you both might end up in need of rescue.
Instead of sacrificing yourself for your family, it's better to keep yourself in a strong position, like the captain of the boat in the previous story, and save those who need help, and be a leader for those you're responsible for. A smart father, a true leader of a family, never completely sacrifices himself. He stays in a position of strength and leadership. He never panics and jumps off the boat.
Take care of your woman, your girlfriend, your lover, your wife, your children, your family, your friends. Take care of them. But don't jump off the boat.
Parenting is a huge, and wonderful, commitment. A commitment in love. It requires you to give fully. To think beyond yourself, beyond your personal needs and preferences. To live for others. To serve others. In love.
But you can't love, if you're dead. Eh?
And you can't love, if you're not just physically dead, but emotionally dead, or spiritually dead. If you abandon your purpose in life, if you give up who you are, if you forsake your calling in this world, if you bury the man, the king, who you could be, who you want to be, then you have essentially abdicated your position in your family. You've given up. When you give up on yourself, you've given up on those who love you.
Those around you will feel your weakness. Your wife will start taking on your responsibilities, taking charge, taking the reins, your reins. Your family will, unconsciously, undermine your authority. If you can't take charge of yourself, who will? Some one has to. Your children will challenge you. If you lack discipline, you're children will sense that, and will challenge who you are.
Once you give up on pursuing your deepest enjoyment in life, your purpose, your calling, giving of your gift to the world, you have lost. You might as well jump in the water.
Well, then. Don't.
Get into alignment and harmony with yourself, your goals, the universe, God. Get in touch with your deepest purpose. Your mission in life. Your deep calling. Your core reality of yourself and who you are.
Don't weaken your core.
Be alive and strong. Your woman needs a strong man. Your children's lives depend upon it. Be present, in love, and serve. But never be ambiguous about who you are and what you want to do in life. If you haven't already, discover your deep truth, your core reality, your mission, your purpose. What do you want to do in life? Do it! Don't use your family as an excuse for not being a mature man, strong and confident, full of life and purpose, running the face, enjoying every moment, like a king.
Tips for Men to Be Better Men, Wonderful Husbands, and Loving Fathers