Helen Keller was asked, "Is there anything worse than blindness?" She answered, "Oh, yes. A man with sight and no vision."
Men who enjoy being providers for their families have vision. Kings have vision.
First and foremost, a great man will have vision. They'll see the big picture. They'll understand what's out there, over the next hill, and know what to do and where to go next.
Some men climb high mountains, ride raging rivers, ski steep slopes, etc.
But that's NOT what we're talking about here.
We're NOT talking about the next awesome activity or experience with the family.
We're talking about men having vision to lead others.
A man must:
This is leadership.
The King in Every Man
The king in every man is always thinking and looking forward, planning for the future, and providing direction.
Food, clothing, and shelter are relatively easy to provide. Having a awesome activity with the family takes little thought or heart. Any man can throw the kids and wife in the car and go somewhere fun. That's easy.
But What Really Matters in Life
But what really matters in life are not the easy things that we can do and see, but those things that are unseen. It's the unseen world, the spiritual world, the love of others, peace in our hearts, the joy in life, where men should must be master providers.
It is written that we should not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are unseen. The things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. Things such as:
These things are not seen, but great men possess them, provide them, and teach them (2 Corinthians 4:18).
In this article, you'll learn how the measure of a man is the spiritual and physical health of his family. And for a man's family to be healthy, he has to have vision.
In 2007, I moved my family from Pennsylvania to Colorado. We sold the house, gave away all of our possessions to our neighbors, put a mattress in my cargo van, threw the kids in, and took off to our new adventure.
We left what was a comfortable life and set off across a vast country, right through the St. Louis Arch, just like the early American settlers did as they moved West into undiscovered country. Those brave folks, riding in their wagons, could not see all of the dangers ahead. They couldn't even see over the next hill. They didn't know when their next good, hot meal or cold drink of water would come.
In order to survive, the men leading those explorers had hope, believing, and vision.
A Man's Vision is His Family
At the heart of a man's vision is his family. Look at your family. Ask yourself the following questions:
Man, King, Provider, Leader
My family depends on me to set the course, give direction and take the lead. And, again, I'm not talking about scheduling the next cool ski run, camping trip, or awesome activity, dude.
No. I'm talking about the big picture for your family.
I've Got Their Backs
No matter what's ahead, storms, floods, fires, perils, the unknown, I've got them. I've got their backs. They can count on me. In every situation, I'll be there for them. No matter what. I'll never leave them. And I'll always know what's ahead. At any moment, I know:
How to Measure a Man
You can measure a man by the spiritual and physical health of his family. Stu Weber, in his book Tender Warrior, says that a measure of a man is the spiritual and emotional health of his family. A man provides his wife a loving bond that does not break, raises his sons with character and tenderness and his daughters with confidence and life energy.
You can tell a man has no vision, no leadership, when his family is lost, wild, struggling, sickly, just a bit "off," and has lost its way.
A Pro-visionary Man
Life is Short
You don't have much time, man. Life's short. Put on your big girl panties. Like now!
The future is soon approaching. The kids grow up so fast. Your ages rises so quickly. The years pass by so fast. What you think is a long road ahead is actually, in reality, very short. We are given a gift to live on this Earth for a just brief moment in time. Don't get preoccupied with life-draining things-to-do lists, not matter how totally-f'n-awesome they seem to be (at the time). Most of what you think is important right now, just really isn't.
Stop. Think. Think ahead. See. Set your thoughts and eyes ahead. Prepare. Lead your family.
To help develop a sense of vision in yourself, respond to the following:
Most men have sight, but no vision. What's yours? A measure of a man is the spiritual and physical health of his family. How's your family? A great man, like a king, must have vision for those he leads. Take some time, right now, to stop and think about how you're leading your family. If you need help, get with a buddy.
A mature man is a guide. Let's learn about what a guide is, including some real world examples.
A king, the head of the house, is a mature man. He is a guide for his wife and his children. Many men believe this is a God-given role. Many men trust that this leadership position means that they are accountable to God. And being a guide is part of the plan of God, or the Source, or the Universe, or whatever you may call it. Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Mormonism, Jehovah's Witnesses, and Scientology all have some type of teaching about a man being a guide.
A leader is not a superior person or a more valuable person. A leader is merely functioning as a decision maker, a position of authority. In the home, a father and mother, a husband and wife are equally important. Neither is superior to the other. Neither is more valuable than the other. The man who plays the role of the leader, soon learns he cannot succeed with the support of his wife. And she cannot succeed without his leadership and guidance. They are interdependent.
To guide a family, rules are established to be followed. The guide makes final decisions. Sets goals. Looks at the horizon. And makes plans for the future. The guide figures out how money is spent. How rules of conduct are to be obeyed. Where the children will be educated. These are some of the responsibilities of the guide. Much authority is delegated to his wife, particularly concerning the children. The father seeks his wife's viewpoint in matters of family planning and making decisions. She is his best counselor. She is wise. And provides advise freely. Her perspective is all-important. A man will also listen to the children, for their perspective is unique. He should listen to each child with honest consideration. But the ultimate decision rests upon him.
A successful family is not a democracy. Each member should not given one equal vote. If it were a democracy, all of the chores would be done by the father and mother! Parents must not be out-voted. The father must be the shepherd of his flock. His decision must be honored and respected.
Every man is a guide, a leader. Even if he's not a leader in his work, if he's married, he's is a leader. His conduct as the head of the family is very important. His success in being a leader of his family will extend beyond the home and affect other institutions to which it belongs. His leadership has an effect on his neighborhood, the town, the country.
Leadership in a family is a masculine role, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman. Leadership is masculine. A man takes pride in playing this masculine role when he realizes that this is his most important function that he has. He has the qualities of a leader that are both steel and velvet.
To learn more about steel and velvet, visithttp://kingsguide.blogspot.com/2013/09/qualities-of-man.html.
Most men have the physical, emotional, and temperamental qualities to lead. He must be kind and tender-hearted, willing to sacrifice for his family. Along those velvet qualities, he must be a strong as steel, being confident in his decisions as a leader.
Some people do not like this plan for family leadership, thinking that is is burdensome to the man or unfair to the woman. There is an idea of doing away with this masculine leadership role, and substituting instead an equality of leadership between men and women. But we know that no organization, regardless of size, can function without a responsible head, a leader. This is evident in business, government, social groups, and the military. Wherever people work successfully together, there is ultimately a leader who guides, directs, and organizes. This person also takes on the ultimate responsibility for the group. And the family is the basic unit of society. The family is a small social group, even when it's a man and woman with no children. With a head, a marriage is successful. With a head, a family is successful. And there must be a leader. A man succeeds in this role when he has the power of decision.
Petruchio is the male romantic character in Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew. Petruchio is a fortune seeker who enters into a marriage with a strong-willed young woman named Kate and then proceeds to "tame" her temperamental spirit. Petruchio's methods and Kate's fifth act soliloquy are controversial for many men and women.
Petruchio is strong, rough and unyielding. He looks for a wife in haste and finds Kate. Kate is beautiful and young, but a shrew. She's sharp-tongued and defiant. But Petruchio stands firm and approaches Kate with kindness. With each of Petruchio's attempt at getting closer, Kate snaps back at him. But he ignore it and calls her "sweet Kate, gentle Kate." And finally he wins her. And they get married.
Petruchio proposes to his friends a contest to see which man has the most obedient wife: All three will call for their wives to see which one responds. Of the three women, only Kate comes, and Petruchio is the winner. Petruchio then orders Kate to bring the other wives and give a speech telling them to honor their husbands always.
Most people today would oppose Petruchio's behavior toward Kate, particularly how he expresses his "possession" of her. The story, however, does bring out something special in Kate. Petruchio's firmness and masculine determination, combined with his kindness and love for Kate, brings these two characters together in love, joy and matrimony.
In the final scene, Kate defends her man's position as the leader, guide and provider.
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee
And for thy maintenance; commits his body
To painful labor both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou li'st warm at home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience--
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I am ashamed that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace,
Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway,
Whey they are bound to serve, love, and obey.
Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?
Come, come, you froward and unable worms,
My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
My heart as great, my reason haply more,
To bandy word for word and frown for frown.
But now I see our lances are but straws,
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,
That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
And place your hands below your husband's foot,
In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready, may it do him ease.
It's up to two people in any relationship by deliberate decision and proper arrangement how to live together. Marriages are successful because each partner fully understands and embraces the role and responsibilities of that role in the relationship. Nothing, nothing, ever just works out on its own. It takes a conscious, thoughtful discussion about expectations and responsibilities that are often not clearly defined in a marriage relationship.
Marriages fail for three reasons: sex, money, and communication. If you're both rich and having lots of sex, great! Your marriage won't last 2 years. You have to communicate. I find that husbands in long-term successful, loving relationships have done the hard work of talking things through and being clear on what they're responsible for and what their wives expect of them. The specifics are up to the couple. For me, my wife and I fully understood that I was to be the leader, provider, and protector. And that understanding, deliberate decision, and proper arrangement has worked very well for us. See you in 40 years. :)
You may be interested in reading about how to strengthen our relationships.