A mature man is a guide. Let's learn about what a guide is, including some real world examples.
A king, the head of the house, is a mature man. He is a guide for his wife and his children. Many men believe this is a God-given role. Many men trust that this leadership position means that they are accountable to God. And being a guide is part of the plan of God, or the Source, or the Universe, or whatever you may call it. Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Mormonism, Jehovah's Witnesses, and Scientology all have some type of teaching about a man being a guide.
A leader is not a superior person or a more valuable person. A leader is merely functioning as a decision maker, a position of authority. In the home, a father and mother, a husband and wife are equally important. Neither is superior to the other. Neither is more valuable than the other. The man who plays the role of the leader, soon learns he cannot succeed with the support of his wife. And she cannot succeed without his leadership and guidance. They are interdependent.
To guide a family, rules are established to be followed. The guide makes final decisions. Sets goals. Looks at the horizon. And makes plans for the future. The guide figures out how money is spent. How rules of conduct are to be obeyed. Where the children will be educated. These are some of the responsibilities of the guide. Much authority is delegated to his wife, particularly concerning the children. The father seeks his wife's viewpoint in matters of family planning and making decisions. She is his best counselor. She is wise. And provides advise freely. Her perspective is all-important. A man will also listen to the children, for their perspective is unique. He should listen to each child with honest consideration. But the ultimate decision rests upon him.
A successful family is not a democracy. Each member should not given one equal vote. If it were a democracy, all of the chores would be done by the father and mother! Parents must not be out-voted. The father must be the shepherd of his flock. His decision must be honored and respected.
Every man is a guide, a leader. Even if he's not a leader in his work, if he's married, he's is a leader. His conduct as the head of the family is very important. His success in being a leader of his family will extend beyond the home and affect other institutions to which it belongs. His leadership has an effect on his neighborhood, the town, the country.
Leadership in a family is a masculine role, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman. Leadership is masculine. A man takes pride in playing this masculine role when he realizes that this is his most important function that he has. He has the qualities of a leader that are both steel and velvet.
To learn more about steel and velvet, visithttp://kingsguide.blogspot.com/2013/09/qualities-of-man.html.
Most men have the physical, emotional, and temperamental qualities to lead. He must be kind and tender-hearted, willing to sacrifice for his family. Along those velvet qualities, he must be a strong as steel, being confident in his decisions as a leader.
Some people do not like this plan for family leadership, thinking that is is burdensome to the man or unfair to the woman. There is an idea of doing away with this masculine leadership role, and substituting instead an equality of leadership between men and women. But we know that no organization, regardless of size, can function without a responsible head, a leader. This is evident in business, government, social groups, and the military. Wherever people work successfully together, there is ultimately a leader who guides, directs, and organizes. This person also takes on the ultimate responsibility for the group. And the family is the basic unit of society. The family is a small social group, even when it's a man and woman with no children. With a head, a marriage is successful. With a head, a family is successful. And there must be a leader. A man succeeds in this role when he has the power of decision.
Petruchio is the male romantic character in Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew. Petruchio is a fortune seeker who enters into a marriage with a strong-willed young woman named Kate and then proceeds to "tame" her temperamental spirit. Petruchio's methods and Kate's fifth act soliloquy are controversial for many men and women.
Petruchio is strong, rough and unyielding. He looks for a wife in haste and finds Kate. Kate is beautiful and young, but a shrew. She's sharp-tongued and defiant. But Petruchio stands firm and approaches Kate with kindness. With each of Petruchio's attempt at getting closer, Kate snaps back at him. But he ignore it and calls her "sweet Kate, gentle Kate." And finally he wins her. And they get married.
Petruchio proposes to his friends a contest to see which man has the most obedient wife: All three will call for their wives to see which one responds. Of the three women, only Kate comes, and Petruchio is the winner. Petruchio then orders Kate to bring the other wives and give a speech telling them to honor their husbands always.
Most people today would oppose Petruchio's behavior toward Kate, particularly how he expresses his "possession" of her. The story, however, does bring out something special in Kate. Petruchio's firmness and masculine determination, combined with his kindness and love for Kate, brings these two characters together in love, joy and matrimony.
In the final scene, Kate defends her man's position as the leader, guide and provider.
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee
And for thy maintenance; commits his body
To painful labor both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou li'st warm at home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience--
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I am ashamed that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace,
Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway,
Whey they are bound to serve, love, and obey.
Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?
Come, come, you froward and unable worms,
My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
My heart as great, my reason haply more,
To bandy word for word and frown for frown.
But now I see our lances are but straws,
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,
That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
And place your hands below your husband's foot,
In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready, may it do him ease.
It's up to two people in any relationship by deliberate decision and proper arrangement how to live together. Marriages are successful because each partner fully understands and embraces the role and responsibilities of that role in the relationship. Nothing, nothing, ever just works out on its own. It takes a conscious, thoughtful discussion about expectations and responsibilities that are often not clearly defined in a marriage relationship.
Marriages fail for three reasons: sex, money, and communication. If you're both rich and having lots of sex, great! Your marriage won't last 2 years. You have to communicate. I find that husbands in long-term successful, loving relationships have done the hard work of talking things through and being clear on what they're responsible for and what their wives expect of them. The specifics are up to the couple. For me, my wife and I fully understood that I was to be the leader, provider, and protector. And that understanding, deliberate decision, and proper arrangement has worked very well for us. See you in 40 years. :)
You may be interested in reading about how to strengthen our relationships.
It was once said that the character of a man starts from his shoes and works its way up. The photo above is of my old work shoes. So, let's talk about a man's character. His role. Starting not with his shoes, but with his responsibilities as a man.
In my opinion, a man's most important responsibility is to be:
Just As a King
Just as a king is the head of his kingdom, so a man can be the head of the family (by proper arrangement and deliberate decision between the couple within the relationship). The man is built to be a protector of women and children. A man's body is large, strong and can endure. A man's temperament is adapted to be complementary to the position he bears.
My usefulness to my community is principally realized as I build a strong home, nurture a loving marriage and produce good kids.
A man's greatest failure would be to fail in his home. If his children are unruly, if his marriage is troubled, if his home is not peaceful, then he has failed. He has failed in the his most fundamental duty as a mature man. And no success in life can compensate for that failure. A man often feels that he is principally responsible for the family's success or failure. And other men who are married with children will judge that man based upon his family.
When a man is successful in being a guide, protector and provider; when his children grow up to be happy, smart, good kids; when he acts has the head of this household and rules it with leadership and love; and when he and his wife live in unconditional love and mutual respect, then he has made the most notable contribution to the world.
This is man's basic role.
You may want to continue reading why a man would share his list of likes.