I know what I like:
That's a short list of mine.
Now, take 10 seconds to think of a list of your own. Go ahead. I dare you. Here's the reason: to share that list of your personal likes with your lover.
Why? Why do I do that? So that my lover can use my list to her advantage.
I'll say that again - so that my lover can use that list to her advantage.
Can this list be used to bribe me? To con me? Sure. But my wife doesn't use it for that purpose. She doesn't play that game: "If I give Benjamin what he likes, he'll give me what I want." Nope. She doesn't do that.
Here's the purpose of sharing your list with your lover: So that 2 become 1. That's actually a verse from my favorite source of life lessons (Ephesians). Ephesians teaches a man to join his lover so that the two will become one flesh. To most couples, it's a mystery how two can become one. Not to me.
Ephesians 5 is written for us men. You better read it. Ephesians 5:21-33.
When I have a need, my wife is right there. She knows me well. She sees my feelings from 20 feet away. She anticipates my moves to support me. She doesn't allow me to be in a place that I don't want to be in. She knows how to make me smile. She knows what I like, what I love, what I need. Her and I can look at each other from across a crowded room, and know what each other is thinking. We're connected.
Are you connected with your lover? Are you? Huh?
My wife and I are joined; we're connected; we're one.
She gave me her list, and I gave her mine. Do the same, gents.
Long time ago, my wife and I would drive around the country side of Pennsylvania, where we both grew up, in my pickup truck. The best pickup trucks are the ones with the bench seats in front, so that your lover can slide over next to you and snuggle as you drive. Me behind the wheel. My beautiful woman next to me.
Now, we live in Boulder, Colorado, jobs, house, kids, dog, and we abide by the seat belt law. The problem is she's way over there, but I'm still behind the wheel. I remember when. And she does too. But the problem is that I haven't moved.
We still travel together down this road of life. Together. Wife and I. Pavement and trees passing by. There are bumps in the road, speed traps, crazy drivers, distractions, road signs, and accidents here and there.
Men tend to travel this road with purpose. Focused. On task. We're not out drinking every night. We work hard to make money and pay the bills. We try our best at being a good dad. We provide and protect. We're loyal. No cheating; no divorce.
But a man's deepest need when traveling down this road is for our lover to slide over, snuggle up close, and tell us every once in a while that we're doing a good job. "Good job, babe." A few words of appreciation for man means everything --- and lasts forever.
It's not easy. You're working hard too. Work, house, kids, schedule. You're just as busy, distracted, and tired at the end of the day.
But here's the advice.
Your man is just a few feet away. And he wants to feel needed in this journey. Together. Traveling down this road. If you'd only slide over next to us and tell us what you want and need. Do you want a cheerleader? Got it. Lover? Listener? Provider? Will do. Knight in shining armor? Yes. Best friend? For sure, and forever.
And, don't sit so far away from your man. Remember long time ago? Remember how it used to be? Remember when you sat right next to each other? Remember when you first met that young boy, and how he made you feel? He was hot. So hot. Handsome. You two were so in love. Romantic love. Crazy about each other. That kinda love.
That man is still here. Right there next to you. Look at him. All you got to do is slide on over.
That's my advice.
Women, you may be interested in also reading, "Why Men Watch Football."
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When was the last time you walked up to your woman and hugged her?
I mean a really good, long, strong squeeze. A tight hug that made her feel like the most loved and adored woman on Earth.
Do this today and let me know her response and reaction.
Here's mine..... My tight squeeze for my wife was in the middle of the day. I caught her by surprise. I wrapped my arms around her waist and picked her up and kissed her. And I whispered in her ear, "I love ya." Giggles.
That's a great way to score some points. Ya know what I mean. Nudge, nudge.
How often do you squeeze your woman?
Put this at the top of your "things-to-do list" and enjoy the extra curricular activity. Wink, wink.
A good squeeze also does wonders for your brain.
So, what are you waiting for? Go squeeze your woman today.
The King's Guide is intended to be a guide for men. Specifically, men who are unafraid to be masculine. A masculine man is purposeful, confident and driven. And this man is also totally turned on by the feminine. He loves his woman. Dedicated to her - through his work and his sexuality.
The King's Guide is written for men who have achieved an understanding of other genders and sexual preferences, who consider men and women to be social, economic, and political equals, but they want to live a fulfilled life that celebrates sexual and spiritual passions inherent in the masculine and feminine polarities.
In a healthy relationship, I believe you have to have a masculine and a feminine. As they say, opposites attract. This seems to be true in homosexual relationships as well as heterosexual ones. Sexual polarity (masculine vs. feminine) is not dependent upon gender. But you still need two different, opposing polarities of personal characteristics in a good, healthy relationship. And I'm familiar enough with the heterosexual male masculine role to write about it, at least in my own personal experiences.
A man's most important role is to be the king - the one who guides, protects and provides for his wife and family. This is a masculine role.
It has been written that a man is the head of the family. In the beginning, the roles of Adam and Eve were defined by the instructions given to them. Eve was to desire her husband, and that he was to rule over her. Apostle Paul wrote that the husband is the head of the wife, just as Jesus Christ is the head over the church. And just as believers follow Christ, so the wife shall follow her husband in everything.
But what do these things that were written 2,000 years ago mean in today's reality?
What might we learn from the biblical roles that have been written? What, if anything, can we learn that which has been written in the past about sexually masculine and feminine roles? How might those things be applied to our present-day lives? For many households such as single-parent families, these roles of being husband and wife are not realized. And because I am not familiar enough with gay and lesbian partnerships and marriages, I will not be commenting much upon how roles play in those situations. However, it is commonly understood that in many loving relationships (straight, traditional, gay, non-traditional, lesbian, etc.) there is one person who has a more masculine characteristic and one that is more feminine. And the opposing, yet sexually attractive, types of personalities can make that relationship very exciting and enduring.
To be a guide, protector and provider, takes work. Hard work. In Genesis, it is written that a man will eat only after working up a sweat on his face. He's got to work in order to eat. Whew! And, this command was divinely given to the man specifically. The commandment to the woman was to be the man's helper. Eve was told to help Adam work hard.
Some say that the complications of our modern times require men and women to change what has been written before. Yet, for many men and women today, God's instructions to Adam and Eve are as valid today as when first given. It just works for them. Others discount these commandments, prefer to alter God's intention and plans, and create a suitable substitute that works for them. Personally, I have yet to find and study an alternative that works better for me and my wife than the one that is built upon loving obedience to each other by proper arrangement and deliberate decision.
Unconditional love is the key, sweeping over both of you in fathomless billows. Masculine and feminine energies add the spice of life to a healthy, passionate relationship.
You may be interested in reading "You Need Opposites" from The King's Guide.