Within men is the desire for personal fulfillment. This is derived in the following three ways:
Fulfillment in life can come from many different things in which you apply your energy, abilities, skills and produce valuable results. An artist, writer, politician, teacher, investor, technician, or any worker receives some measure of personal fulfillment, especially when this work contributes to the world. What the work actually produces is not important. It could be simple and ordinary work, or technical and complex. If it means cleaning the toilets, that would qualify as a worthy contribution.
A man's greatest fulfillment, however, is when he works at being a guide, a protector, and provider. When this man provides for his family. He is unselfish. He solves problems. He overcomes obstacles. He character develops as he grows into his masculine roles more fully. If he has weaknesses, he overcomes them. He builds strength, not just physical but also mental. He is inspired by things that were unknown to him when he as immature. As a man matures, his inspiration comes from within, not from without.
As a married man, he doubles in size, fully understanding how two become one. As the head of a family, he lives as a great example, and he attains the greatest rewards that life can offer. His children are his kingdom, and his wife his queen.
As his children grow up, a man can enjoy the fruits of his labor. He delights in the company of his children. You'll often see a father simply watching, listening, and smiling as his children swirl about him. And in the center of this joy is his wife. The two are the center of the family, and the children are orbiting about like little planets.
When a man fails at making his marriage or family life a success, his children will be painful reminders and his wife a heartache. When this fundamental area in his life is not successful, his greatest fulfillment has not be realized. He may be tremendously successful elsewhere, he may have achieved great things outside his home, and he may have great honor and recognition from others, but that success does not compensate for his failure at home. By failing with his wife or children, he has robbed himself of the greatest fulfillment in life.
When a man reaches the age of around 40, he tends to reflect on his life and assess who and where he is. If certain goals in his work and finances have not been reached, some men will start to feel devastated and troubled. They have devoted themselves to many years of work, but it has not amounted to much. You may hear those men say things like, "I missed the boat. My work has not paid off. I'm getting older, and I'm not sure what's going on with my work. I can't seem to earn more money. It's too late to do something different now." Many men in that situation, turn to the world for pleasure and fulfillment, desperate attempts to realize some measure of success in life. Some men even turn to other women.
But, if a man has matured, developed a loving relationship with a woman, raised wonderful children, and built a successful family life, then he has actually achieved the greatest accomplishment a man could dream of. His family becomes his achievement in life. His children, the richest fruits of his labor. His joy, the love, respect and devotion of this beautiful wife. A man has a responsibility to his woman, his wife, his children, his family, to be their guide, protector and provider.
Home is the family's base camp, the center where they call come together, where rules are made and values are established. It is the heart of the family. His woman's security is not in how much money her man makes, but in his mature character. She is free to make her career, whether its within the home or outside. She can devote herself to her man, her king. And together they make a great contributions to the world, a happy home and wonderful children.
For further study, read about a man's basic role.
The King's Guide is intended to be a guide for men. Specifically, men who are unafraid to be masculine. A masculine man is purposeful, confident and driven. And this man is also totally turned on by the feminine. He loves his woman. Dedicated to her - through his work and his sexuality.
The King's Guide is written for men who have achieved an understanding of other genders and sexual preferences, who consider men and women to be social, economic, and political equals, but they want to live a fulfilled life that celebrates sexual and spiritual passions inherent in the masculine and feminine polarities.
In a healthy relationship, I believe you have to have a masculine and a feminine. As they say, opposites attract. This seems to be true in homosexual relationships as well as heterosexual ones. Sexual polarity (masculine vs. feminine) is not dependent upon gender. But you still need two different, opposing polarities of personal characteristics in a good, healthy relationship. And I'm familiar enough with the heterosexual male masculine role to write about it, at least in my own personal experiences.
A man's most important role is to be the king - the one who guides, protects and provides for his wife and family. This is a masculine role.
It has been written that a man is the head of the family. In the beginning, the roles of Adam and Eve were defined by the instructions given to them. Eve was to desire her husband, and that he was to rule over her. Apostle Paul wrote that the husband is the head of the wife, just as Jesus Christ is the head over the church. And just as believers follow Christ, so the wife shall follow her husband in everything.
But what do these things that were written 2,000 years ago mean in today's reality?
What might we learn from the biblical roles that have been written? What, if anything, can we learn that which has been written in the past about sexually masculine and feminine roles? How might those things be applied to our present-day lives? For many households such as single-parent families, these roles of being husband and wife are not realized. And because I am not familiar enough with gay and lesbian partnerships and marriages, I will not be commenting much upon how roles play in those situations. However, it is commonly understood that in many loving relationships (straight, traditional, gay, non-traditional, lesbian, etc.) there is one person who has a more masculine characteristic and one that is more feminine. And the opposing, yet sexually attractive, types of personalities can make that relationship very exciting and enduring.
To be a guide, protector and provider, takes work. Hard work. In Genesis, it is written that a man will eat only after working up a sweat on his face. He's got to work in order to eat. Whew! And, this command was divinely given to the man specifically. The commandment to the woman was to be the man's helper. Eve was told to help Adam work hard.
Some say that the complications of our modern times require men and women to change what has been written before. Yet, for many men and women today, God's instructions to Adam and Eve are as valid today as when first given. It just works for them. Others discount these commandments, prefer to alter God's intention and plans, and create a suitable substitute that works for them. Personally, I have yet to find and study an alternative that works better for me and my wife than the one that is built upon loving obedience to each other by proper arrangement and deliberate decision.
Unconditional love is the key, sweeping over both of you in fathomless billows. Masculine and feminine energies add the spice of life to a healthy, passionate relationship.
You may be interested in reading "You Need Opposites" from The King's Guide.
Behind every great man...
A man can't be a king without a queen. A man can achieve great things in life when he has a great woman by his side. A man can do many wonderful things on his own, but a great woman can make every moment in life like a gift from God.
A woman shares equally in the responsibility for the family. This is a sacred responsibility for the family's success. She is a partner, yet strongly independent. She supports her husband and makes him feel like a king. She has a desire, often greater than the man's, for the children's health, maturity and prosperity. Mothers tend to work tirelessly to create and maintain a happy home and raise healthy children.
She is in ways dependent upon her husband, particularly for his leadership, decisions and actions. She deserves to receive full understanding and deep appreciation from her husband. She works to be in alignment and harmony with her husband in achieving her personal goals, and expects to receive his understanding, unselfishness, and unconditional love. She believes in her man and trusts him just has he does her.
A great woman is someone who loves you and supports you. She wants to feed you. Make you look really good in them jeans. Wants to help you keep fit and sexy. She loves your smell. Loves your voice and wants to hear you talk about your day, your challenges and your dreams. She leans on you. Loves your children. And very importantly, love you, even with your flaws. And, yep, you certainly have a few.
A great woman is intelligent, warm-hearted, and unselfish. Physcially strong and healthy. Intelligent and tends to be innately in-tuned with what's most important in any situation. She wants to see you do good in the world, and wants you to be successful. She speaks well of you, especially when you're not around. She loves to smile at you. And she reaches out to you to hold your hand.
Your woman should expect you to be a gentleman. She should expect you to speak intelligently, have good manners, and be romantic. A great woman expect her man to defend her, stand up for her and her interests. She expects all things things from you, and more.
Your woman wants you to be chivalrous. On dates, well, first, take her out on dates. Then, hold the door open for her; pull her chair out for her; allow her to order first; stand up if she stands up to leave the table; stand up when she returns to the table; rise to your feet when she enters a room; compliment her; ask her to dance; when walking, place yourself to protect her from traffic or puddles and offer an arm; offer her your coat if she's cold; and thank her for the date. If you're woman expects you to act chivalrous on a date, you've found yourself a great woman, get on your knees and propose your undying love for her.
I can't think of any great king in history who didn't have an amazing woman by his side. If you want to have everything in life you can think of (financial, physical, spiritual, emotional, sexual, intellectual, etc), find yourself a great woman. And keep her forever. Love her as you would love yourself.
You may be interested in reading "Work and Woman" from The King's Guide.
It was once said that the character of a man starts from his shoes and works its way up. The photo above is of my old work shoes. So, let's talk about a man's character. His role. Starting not with his shoes, but with his responsibilities as a man.
A man's most important responsibility is to be:
Just as a king is the head of his kingdom, so is a man as the head of the family. The man is born to be a protector of women and children. A man's body is large, strong and can endure. A man's temperament is adapted to be complementary to the position he bears.
My usefulness to my community is principally realized as I build a strong home, nurture a loving marriage and produce good kids.
A man's greatest failure would be to fail in his home. If his children are unruly, if his marriage is troubled, if his home is not peaceful, he has failed. He has failed in the his most fundamental duty as a man. And no success in life can compensate for it. A man is principally responsible for the family's success or failure.
When a man is successful in being a guide, protector and provider; when his children grow up to be happy, smart, good kids; when he acts has the head of this household and rules it with leadership and love, then he has made the most notable contribution to the world.
This is man's basic role.